{"id":123,"date":"2010-12-08T23:50:33","date_gmt":"2010-12-08T22:50:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/?p=123"},"modified":"2011-05-15T17:55:30","modified_gmt":"2011-05-15T15:55:30","slug":"benimle-konusmaya-devam-et-alfredo-m-bonanno","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/?p=123","title":{"rendered":"Benimle konu\u015fmaya devam et – Alfredo M. Bonanno"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Kendi kendini ve di\u011ferlerini anlamayla y\u00fczle\u015fme<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>k; varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 farketmenin \u015f\u00fcphelenilmeyen g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc, s\u0131kl\u0131kla ke\u015ffedilir. Hakk\u0131nda \u00e7ok az bildi\u011fimiz bir sorunla ya da daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 tan\u0131\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir insana yakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda, bir panik duygusu hissederiz <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>(ya da sevin\u00e7. Hi\u00e7bir zaman tamamiyle net olmayan ince bir farkl\u0131l\u0131k)<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em> Onu \u00e7\u00f6zmeyi ba\u015farabilecek miyiz? Kendimize sorar\u0131z. Ve cevap her zaman olumlu de\u011fildir.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Bir \u00e7ok zaman <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>\u201cyabanc\u0131ya\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>\u015f\u00fcpheyle bakar\u0131z, \u015f\u00fcphe hen\u00fcz sistemle\u015ftirilmemi\u015f farkl\u0131l\u0131kta her zaman var olur. Bu <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>\u201cyabanc\u0131\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>bizi nereye g\u00f6t\u00fcrecek? Kesinlikle yeni \u015feylere do\u011fru, ve bunlar ne gibi olacaklar? \u0130yi ya da k\u00f6t\u00fc olabilirler, ama onlar bizim dengemizi, naho\u015f bir uyanma ve sonras\u0131nda s\u0131kl\u0131kla yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z uykumuzu<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>(ve d\u00fc\u015flerimizi)<\/em> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>alt\u00fcst ederler.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

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<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>Bundan, tamamiyle daha gerekli olan kendimizi ortaya \u00e7\u0131karmamam\u0131z. Ki\u015fisel d\u00fcnyam\u0131z, bizim kendi d\u00fcnyam\u0131z, tehlikeye at\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan beri bilinmeyene riski g\u00f6z ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda, onu \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne savunmaya hevesliyiz; riskin s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 duygusuzla\u015f\u0131yor ve a\u00e7\u0131klay\u0131c\u0131 bir \u015fema \u00f6neriyor.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em> \u201cYabanc\u0131\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>, insan ya da problem olsun, bu y\u00fczden kendi \u015femalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda kataloglu; yap\u0131da varolan bi\u00e7imi seyreltiyoruz, onu zorla bast\u0131r\u0131yoruz, \u00f6tekinin bizim ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131za boyun e\u011fmesini bekliyoruz. B\u00f6ylece, <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>\u201conu\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em> ayinsel davran\u0131\u015fta \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fckten sonra, biz, katiller olarak kendi kapasitemizin limitleri i\u00e7inde yapabilir oluyoruz, onu kendi ama\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131za uyumlula\u015ft\u0131rarak, kapsay\u0131c\u0131 arzular\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, d\u00fc\u015flerimizi ve uykumuzu bile beslemeye devam edip. yeniden \u00fcretiyoruz.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

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V<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>e kesinlikle en k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc olmayan bu yolla, baz\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z, kendimizi, d\u00fczenlemenin kozala\u011f\u0131na sarmal\u0131yor, yarg\u0131l\u0131yor ya da onun fark\u0131nda bile olmadan yarg\u0131y\u0131 erteliyor. Ama g\u00fcndelik pratikte, bu erteleme, onu \u015fiddetle yapmaya ihtiya\u00e7 duymadan kendi kendine bizim g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f saham\u0131zda her zaman di\u011ferine g\u00fcvenle ifade edililiyor. Bu durumlarda, olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda varolmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi ortaya \u00e7\u0131kabilecek olan, ahengi bulmaya genel g\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00e7 bulma duygusu yard\u0131m ediyor.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

L\u00fctfen, d\u00fczen i\u00e7in senin hakaret<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>inin ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131 olmas\u0131n; bana senin hayat dolu bir ya\u015fama \u015feklini, dans eden niteliksel mant\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6stermen yeterli, d\u00fczenin ve hareketsizli\u011fin mecburiyet adetini de\u011fil. Yani, bana bunu mant\u0131kla, dikkatli ba\u011flant\u0131larla g\u00f6ster. L\u00fctfen, bana deli oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yle, t\u0131pk\u0131 benim gibi, ama bunu a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131kla s\u00f6yle. L\u00fctfen, bana karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n t\u00fcyler \u00fcrpertici berbatl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan bahset, ama g\u00fcn \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda s\u00f6yle bana bunu, b\u00f6ylece g\u00f6rebilirim; benim e\u011fitilmi\u015f oldu\u011fum kat\u0131 dilde temsil edilmi\u015f olarak, burada ve \u015fimdi.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n


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Y\u0131k\u0131ma dair na\u011fmelerinle cesaretlendir beni -onlar benim kalbimin ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 olan tatl\u0131 ninniler- ama onlardan derli toplu bir bi\u00e7imde bahset, b\u00f6ylece ben onlar\u0131 anlayabilirim ve y\u0131k\u0131m\u0131n ne oldu\u011funu anlatt\u0131klar\u0131ndan te\u015fekk\u00fcr edebilirim. Yani, kelimelerin bana iyice, derli toplu bir bi\u00e7imde ula\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 istiyorum. Eyvah, e\u011fer ba\u011f\u0131rmaya ba\u015flarsan, daha fazla dinlemeyece\u011fim. Y\u0131kmak iyi, fakat mant\u0131\u011f\u0131n tesir etti\u011fi bir s\u0131rayla. Yoksa, her\u015feyin anla\u015f\u0131lamaza karard\u0131\u011f\u0131 tekrar edilemez kaosun i\u00e7ine gireriz. Evet, varsayal\u0131m, bir festival g\u00fcn\u00fcnde bir Cezayirli pazar\u0131ndaki kafa kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131\u015flar sayesinde bile bir\u015feyler bana ula\u015fabilirdi, ama ben bu hayata, bu sa\u011f\u0131 solu belli olmayan ve u\u00e7up giden dansa, <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201cyabanc\u0131n\u0131n\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span> bu umulmad\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcne al\u0131\u015f\u0131k de\u011filim. Bu ya\u015fam bi\u00e7imi anahtar\u0131n\u0131, tamamiyle yak\u0131nl\u0131ktan olu\u015fmu\u015f bu dili, benden \u00f6nce koyman gerekli. Konu\u015f bana, yalvar\u0131yorum sana, b\u00f6ylece; kelime, benim ve d\u00fcnya aras\u0131nda zaten varolan g\u00f6bek ba\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor, b\u00f6ylece, hi\u00e7bir\u015fey birden kaosun karanl\u0131k boyutunun i\u00e7ine at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olarak kendini g\u00f6stermiyor.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


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<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Bana a\u015fktan bahset, senin a\u015fk\u0131ndan, benim i\u00e7in, m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olan her t\u00fcrl\u00fc a\u015fktan, en uzak ve anlamas\u0131 zor olan dahil, i\u00e7 s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131yla s\u00fcren a\u015fk\u0131n \u015fiddetinden, \u015fiddet ve \u00f6l\u00fcmden, ama, onu akl\u0131n g\u00f6zleriyle g\u00f6rebilmeme izin vererek, a\u015fk\u0131n hapsedilmesinden bahset, \u00e7amurlu ve bozulabilir kelimeler d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda tutsak edildi\u011finden. Ondan dikkatlice bahset bana, sana yalvar\u0131yorum, b\u00f6ylece kalbim onun yank\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131yabilir. Sonra, ondan bir ya\u015fam bi\u00e7imi yapaca\u011f\u0131m. Ve ger\u00e7ekten, bana ondan bahsetti\u011finden beri, a\u015fk bana yak\u0131n olacak ve kendimle beraber onu her yere ta\u015f\u0131yaca\u011f\u0131m, birinin; cebinde birisinin b\u0131\u00e7a\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131mas\u0131 gibi, g\u00fcvenlik sa\u011flayan a\u011f\u0131r bir e\u015fya gibi. \u015eu di\u011fer ihtimale oldu\u011fu gibi, birden g\u00f6zlerimin \u00f6n\u00fcnde kendini g\u00f6steren o kad\u0131n; \u015fu <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201cyabanc\u0131\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span> gibi, gecenin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndaki bir h\u0131rs\u0131z gibi, burada art\u0131k beni \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131yor, gece hala benimle konu\u015fabilecek g\u00f6rkemli feryad\u0131n\u0131 terkediyor.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


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Bana gelecek toplumdan bah<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>set, anar\u015fiden, senin ve benim inand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan, bana onun belirsizlik ko\u015fullar\u0131n\u0131 tarif et, \u00f6ng\u00f6r\u00fclemez insan ili\u015fkilerinin t\u00fcm k\u0131s\u0131tlamalardan tamamen kurtar\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan; senin dinginli\u011finle, inand\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 kelimelerle, ipini kopar\u0131p ka\u00e7an; duygular\u0131n k\u0131\u015fk\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlat bana, bir g\u00fcnden ertesi g\u00fcne kaybolmayan y\u0131k\u0131m i\u00e7in nefret ve arzudan, sonunda ge\u00e7mi\u015fin t\u00fcm kabuslar\u0131ndan farkl\u0131 olan, toplumun damarlar\u0131nda akan ve yay\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131 durdurmayan korku ve kandan bahset. S\u00f6yle bana, sana yalvar\u0131yorum, ama beni \u00fcrk\u00fctmeyen bir yolla yap, ondan derli toplu bir \u015fekilde bahset bana, ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 konu\u015f benimle, sen ve ben, ve di\u011ferleri, ve yolda\u015flar, ve hi\u00e7 yolda\u015f olmad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z, ama bir andan di\u011ferine anlayanlar, hep beraber, kurarak, \u015fimdi biraz, biraz burada, azar azar, her\u015fey hayattayken, yani ger\u00e7ek hayat, yine g\u00fczelle\u015fmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yor. Fakat, bana onu anla\u015f\u0131labilir mant\u0131kla anlat. Senin i\u00e7inde hayk\u0131ran\u0131 benim kula\u011f\u0131ma hayk\u0131rma, korkutuyor beni. Onu kendine sakla. \u0130htiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ve fikirlerini -benim fikirlerimle birlikte- d\u00fczenleme zorlu\u011funu kendin s\u00fcrd\u00fcr. Benim arzular\u0131m\u0131n her t\u00fcrl\u00fc kabul\u00fcnden seni uza\u011fa y\u00f6nlendiren boyun e\u011fmez kuvveti kendine sakla, yine de senin kendi bast\u0131r\u0131lamaz olu\u015fun, ayn\u0131 benim gibi, t\u00fcm d\u00fczenlemeye muhalif. Bana t\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 s\u00f6ylemeyerek, beni korkutmay\u0131 durdurabilirsin.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


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<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Yalvar\u0131yorum sana, bana daha fazla endi\u015fe edilecek bir\u015feyler verme.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00c7eviri: <\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Emre \u00d6zkap\u0131<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

kaynak: <\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Canenero, Kara K\u00f6pek (1994-1997)<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>http:\/\/theanarchistlibrary.org\/HTML\/Various_Authors__Articles_from__Canenero_.html#toc9<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Al\u0131nt\u0131:\u00a0internationala.org<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2168,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[18,113,155,154,37,158,163,160,161,157,159,156,162],"class_list":["post-123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-turkce-makaleler","tag-anarsi","tag-ask","tag-belirsizlik","tag-benimle-konusmaya-devam-et","tag-bonanno","tag-duygu","tag-gelecek","tag-kaos","tag-karanlik","tag-oteki","tag-sizofreni","tag-suphe","tag-yabanci"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2168"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=123"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":126,"href":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123\/revisions\/126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yasamaevet.noblogs.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}